hospital gowns, vicoden, and iv's.

here lately i feel like i've been to the docter/hospital more than i've been home! long story short, i had a fancy kind of infection in my lower back, i was having so much pain i could barely walk or even sit down and so my parents took me to the emergency room and they did a minor surgery and said i was all better. after a few weeks i had a follow up appointment with my docter, thinking everything was ok but once he did some tests he came back with bad news...my infection was back and it was a lot more serious. as soon as he said this i began crying (as you might have read in previous blogs im very emotional;) my docter told me i was going to have to have emergency surgery that next morning. and so when the next morning rolled around my dad and i got up before the roosters and went to the hospital. as soon as i got there they made me take off my clothes and put on a silly hospital gown!!!!!!!! i will never wear one of those things again..just saying. after i was dressed they put a bunch of iv's in me and soon enough i was asleep. after my surgery i figured i would feel much better (thats the normal thing to think right??) but after all my vicoden (miracle medicine) wore off i was in the most pain i have ever been in. my temperature is usually 96..not 98 and for two days i had a 102 fever. i remember laying on the couch crying..i couldn't move, i was in so much pain, and i literally thought i was going to die. i called out to god more those two days than i have in a long time. when i was going through that pain i got to thinking and found out that i wasn't ready to die. i had relationships in my life that i needed to ask forgiveness from, and most importantly i needed to get my relationship with god back on track. i know god didn't cause the infection inside of me but i do know that he has worked good out of it. i realized that christ has gone through so much more pain than i have..and he went through it for me. i've learned to rely on him with every circumstance in my life. i've learned to ask for forgiveness. i've learned of his great love for me and that he is the ultimate healer. he's had his protecting hand over me this whole time. i've learned to trust him with everything i've got, for only he knows my future.