the little old lady in borders

our borders is closing and so i decided to go walk around (which is pointless to do if you don't know what you want..but that's besides the point) anyway while i was aimlessly searching the picked over shelves i decided to check out the bathroom (i always look at the bathrooms wherever i go...yes i know-curiosity killed the cat) as soon as i walked in i was welcomed by a little old lady sitting in a chair in the corner. my first thought was 'why the heck is there a lady in here and why is she saying hi to me?' my second thought was 'maybe she's just waiting for somebody.' but as soon as i saw that all the stalls were empty i resorted to 'she must just be a crazy old lady.' while as i was fixing my hair in the mirror this lady continued to carry on a conversation with me and then quickly finished my hair and left the bathroom. i couldn't stop thinking about her as i finished walking around the store. i didn't see her again but as i was walking out to my car, i saw a bike that had a backpack hanging on it. i then realized that the 'crazy old lady' was homeless. my heart dropped and i felt so bad for being rude and short with her. i couldve been the only jesus she will ever see yet i didn't give her the time of day. i prayed for her all the way home.

a week worth of fun. i really love my friends.

colors.

i've took private art lessons for five years so i think it's safe to say i'm an artist. no i don't paint everyday-in fact i havn't painted in awhile, but as an artist i tend to see things from a different point of view. i tend to notice things others don't as well as fantasize about things being different than how they are. i see art in more than just paintings or sketches, i see art in the way chemicals combine in chemistry, the way words flow so smoothly in a love letter, and the way my cat licks himself every night before he goes to bed. there's an art to everything. i came across this quote last night and wanted to post it, i thought it was very thought provoking. it reminds me that there is art everywhere we look. it's from The Book Thief:

'People observe the colors of the day only at its beginning and ends, but to me it's quite clear that a day merges through a multitue of shades and intonations, with each passing moment. A single houre cna consist of thousands of different colors. Waxy yellows, cloud-spat blues. Murky darknesses. In my line of work, I make it a point to notice them.'

fantasy?

my friends just introduced me to gilmore girls. yes i know it's been around for awhile but i just discovered it so it's new to me. i watch it all the time. it sucks me in and i find myself thinking about it often. i mean who wouldn't like a show about a perfect mother-daughter relationship, boys, school, and coffee?

well i've come to find out that this show doesn't just draw me in because it's funny and a good way to procrastinate from doing chemistry, but it draws me in because it's the life that i want.

sometimes i wish i was walking down the streets of stars hollow with lorelai and rory, or drinking coffee everyday at luke's. but then the screen goes blank and the credits come on. the show's over and i'm back to reality. i'm back to the freezing cold blizzard going on right outside my window. i'm back to my life, and though sometimes i wish i was about of the gilmore's life, i'm thankful for mine. i'm thankful for my friends, my family, and of course my cat. i'm thankful for my town and for starbucks. though sometimes it's nice to escape reality and jump into the gilmore world-i'm happy exactly where i am.

hope.

Italy.

A country full of cobblestone streets, art galleries, and statues.

Famous for coliseum, leaning tower of pisa, and cathedrals.

The hot spot for honeymoons, overseas studying, and tourists.

Numerous boutiques, fashion schools, and magazines.

Delicious spaghetti, gelato, and pizza.

A country surrounded in sin, hopelessness, and false teachings.

O how selfish I am. I spend so much time focusing on myself. How I look, my status on facebook, what I'm doing this weekend, how much money I'm making...yet I fail to acknowledge those around me. The hurting. The broken. The lonely. The lost. Bari, Italy is a city full of all of these. My heart goes out to this country, I can't get the people off my mind. They need change. They need to hear the work of Christ. When I used to think of a mission trip, I thought a poverty stricken jungle or desert. Yet when I heard of the trip to Italy, it was like my hands were glued to the keyboard until I applied for the trip. Italy needs a second chance. An awakening. Hope. A savior.

hunger.

i would love my dog Copper, if he didn't always beg. i drives me absolutely nuts when i'm sitting at the table and he just sits there looking at me begging. and if i give him a piece of chicken he'll be happy for about ten seconds but as soon as he's swallowed it-he wants more. more. more. more. i don't know how that dog can always be hunger, but he's never satisfied. he's always hungry for more. he always wants more.

while working at the mall, especially around christmas, i see this quality not just in dogs but in people! sure, it's often little kids begging their parents for an icee to go with their pretzel but i see it in adults too. black friday shopping is absolutely nuts...i saw numerous people fighting over stupid things that don't even matter...just so they can get more. another ugly christmas sweater, another pair of jeans that you don't need, the latest and greatest ipod. why does it matter? we're consumers..always wanting more.

recently i was in the windy, snowy city of chicago. my heart broke at how many homeless people i saw. shivering. starving. dying. my heart was torn the most when i saw this lady going to the bathroom in the middle of the sidewalk. she was shivering and had very thin clothes on. how sad is it that we take toilets for granted. i can guarentee you that this lady has never had an ipod and probably only has one outfit, yet we go out and fight for the latest and greatest. it just doesn't seem right. jesus said, 'for i was hungry and you gave me something to eat, i was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, i was a stranger and you invited me in, i needed clothes and you clothed me, i was sick and you looked after me, i was in prison and you came to visit me.'

i hope and pray that we do not turn into my dog. instead of begging for another 'piece of chicken', lets help those who are really in need.

hospital gowns, vicoden, and iv's.

here lately i feel like i've been to the docter/hospital more than i've been home! long story short, i had a fancy kind of infection in my lower back, i was having so much pain i could barely walk or even sit down and so my parents took me to the emergency room and they did a minor surgery and said i was all better. after a few weeks i had a follow up appointment with my docter, thinking everything was ok but once he did some tests he came back with bad news...my infection was back and it was a lot more serious. as soon as he said this i began crying (as you might have read in previous blogs im very emotional;) my docter told me i was going to have to have emergency surgery that next morning. and so when the next morning rolled around my dad and i got up before the roosters and went to the hospital. as soon as i got there they made me take off my clothes and put on a silly hospital gown!!!!!!!! i will never wear one of those things again..just saying. after i was dressed they put a bunch of iv's in me and soon enough i was asleep. after my surgery i figured i would feel much better (thats the normal thing to think right??) but after all my vicoden (miracle medicine) wore off i was in the most pain i have ever been in. my temperature is usually 96..not 98 and for two days i had a 102 fever. i remember laying on the couch crying..i couldn't move, i was in so much pain, and i literally thought i was going to die. i called out to god more those two days than i have in a long time. when i was going through that pain i got to thinking and found out that i wasn't ready to die. i had relationships in my life that i needed to ask forgiveness from, and most importantly i needed to get my relationship with god back on track. i know god didn't cause the infection inside of me but i do know that he has worked good out of it. i realized that christ has gone through so much more pain than i have..and he went through it for me. i've learned to rely on him with every circumstance in my life. i've learned to ask for forgiveness. i've learned of his great love for me and that he is the ultimate healer. he's had his protecting hand over me this whole time. i've learned to trust him with everything i've got, for only he knows my future.