italia journal entry 2

day 3 7/25

as i walked out of service last night, there were hundreds of tiki torches spread out around campus. there was loud booming native music and crosses set up around the field. each country gathered around their designated crosses and prayed in their small groups. i dont think i've ever had so many people praying for me specifically. it was so powerful and moving that i burst out in tears. i cant explain the feeling but i truely felt the presence of god. knowing that people who i barely knew cared about me was an overwhelming feeling. following the time of prayer, i was so excited because i thought i could finally shower and go to bed. instead of getting ready for bed i was told we had to practice our drama for two more hours! it was already 11pm and we had barely slept the night before. it was a big struggle for me not to complain. i was weak, thirsty, hot, and didn't feel good. i believe god used those tough experiences to make me stronger both mentally and spiritually. i so badly wanted to go home and asked myself it was really worth it. but i knew god was with me.

italia journal entry 1

italy was such an amazing experience. i wish i could share everything that happened with everybody, show everyone everything i saw, and express to everyone the feelings i felt. but im not silly, and i know i cant do that. so what i decided to do is share with you some of my journal entries. they may be boring or not make much sense but i means something to me. happy reading!

day 2 7/24

this is not what i was expecting at all. after waiting in the airport for over three hours and the long rickety bus ride to garden valley i was greeted by several people cheering for me. i certainly felt welcomed. though it is so so so hot here and there are several different types of people, we are all here for one reason: you.

god this is the oddest thing i've ever done. i feel like i dont belong here, im such a sinner. i go against your word everyda. lord im tired, ive barely slept the last two days. give me enery. help me be alive in you. my body is full of infection i feel like im withering away but lord you are MY HEALER! heal my body, help it not be a distraction. i dont want to just pray a prayer, i want to dance with you-just you and me. my heart yearns for you. im so lost and broken. change me. consume me. teach me.

lord why am i here?

im uncomfortable and feel so small but i know you have me here for a reason. you're molding me into the person you want me to become. you're asking me to step out of my comfort zone and this is WAY out of it. i've already felt like giving up but i know you want me here. you've provided a way for me to get your, you're with me right now. help me feel your presence, keep my mind off home and focused on you. save me lord. humble my heart.

banquet.

happy:)

do overs

im sorry i wasnt a better friend to you. i ignored you when you stepped into my geometry class last year. not even a friendly 'hi.' the first thing i thought was, 'wow she's wearing too much make-up. this is high school not a beauty pagent.' i shouldn't have judged, i didn't know anything about you. you sat alone at the lunch table-i sat at a table full of people. i could've given up one day...but i didn't. as the year went on, you got involved with the wrong crowd, i saw it coming. i should've done something. but i didn't. i stood back with everyone else and watched you get steered off the right road. we all make bad decisions, i do everyday. you made a bad one that got you punished far worse than i've ever been punished yet my sins of ignoring you, judging you, and not warning you are the same as your sin. but i didn't get sent away. i'm sorry. it isn't right. i wish we could go back to the first day you came-but life's life with no do overs. i think of you and pray for you often. i hope you can forgive me and that i can see you again soon.

sometimes i feel like im walking down the halls naked.

this may sound weird, but its true. sometimes when i walk from class to class i think to myself, 'did i forget to put on pants today??' thank goodness that hasnt happend..yet. my school is so small that everyone knows everyone or at least of everyone. that can be a good thing at times but a bad thing too. i get some pretty weird looks sometimes, i dont know whats going on in peoples minds when they look at me but i honestly don't care. i'm going to be myself no matter what people think. and maybe one of these days i will forget my pants....it's those little smiles that keep ya going when the school years dragging on:)

coffee.

i absolutely love coffee. im addicted to it. none of the fluffy and creaming stuff-plain black coffee. i love the smell it, the taste of it, everying. anyway this week in bible class we gave presentations and one of my friends gave hers on coffee. i'm stealing this analogy from her so dont give me the credit! a lot of people don't like coffee because of its bitterness but after awhile that same bitterness is something we crave. something we want everyday and if we dont get our coffee then there's something missing. we become addicted to it. that's just like sin. at first we don't want to sin, we may even laugh at the others that are sinning yet once we take that second and third sip of the sin it starts to taste good. and slowly we crave the sin-just like coffee. but then there are those that put all the fancy creamers into their coffee. what does the creamer do? it takes away the bitterness leaving a sweet and satisfying taste. the creamer represents god, he comes into our lives overpowering the sin. the bitterness. the addictions. he gives us a new flavor. like i said before i didn't come up with this, (alexis did) i just thought it was cool. alright well im gonna go make some coffee....

the little old lady in borders

our borders is closing and so i decided to go walk around (which is pointless to do if you don't know what you want..but that's besides the point) anyway while i was aimlessly searching the picked over shelves i decided to check out the bathroom (i always look at the bathrooms wherever i go...yes i know-curiosity killed the cat) as soon as i walked in i was welcomed by a little old lady sitting in a chair in the corner. my first thought was 'why the heck is there a lady in here and why is she saying hi to me?' my second thought was 'maybe she's just waiting for somebody.' but as soon as i saw that all the stalls were empty i resorted to 'she must just be a crazy old lady.' while as i was fixing my hair in the mirror this lady continued to carry on a conversation with me and then quickly finished my hair and left the bathroom. i couldn't stop thinking about her as i finished walking around the store. i didn't see her again but as i was walking out to my car, i saw a bike that had a backpack hanging on it. i then realized that the 'crazy old lady' was homeless. my heart dropped and i felt so bad for being rude and short with her. i couldve been the only jesus she will ever see yet i didn't give her the time of day. i prayed for her all the way home.